Nightmares
by MiniWitchling123
Summary: Queen of Shadows spoilers! Dorian is struggling to deal with his post traumatic stress disorder. Rated T for the opening. The rest is K


Nightmares

 **Author's note: Spoilers for Queen of Shadows. It's rated T because of strong language and the beginning. The rest is all K. I hope y'all enjoy!**

Valg demons circled Dorian. Images of his father flashed up. Words became a blur of noise. New images formed. Chaol lying dead next to Dorian. Aelin being tortured and murdered by his father. Aedion being forced to watch as Aelin was slowly killed. His father turned to Dorian. All Dorian saw was himself. He was holding the knife coated in in Chaol's blood. He was the one-

Dorian sat bolt upright. He slowly rubbed his neck as a reflex. No collar.

Breathing deeply, he threw on a fluffy dressing gown **(Bath robe)** over his night clothes before he slipped out of his rooms. The guards didn't try and follow him as he walked towards the kennels with the dogs.

He'd had another nightmare. It always ended in the same way; he turned into the monster that was his father, and he murdered and tortured innocent civilians, not just his friends.

Dorian sat down next to the sleeping dogs and gently stroked their coats as he thought. Aelin's new court would leave for Terrasen soon enough. He had to get it together by then.

"Can't sleep?" Dorian's head whipped around to see Lysandra standing next to him. Her long brown hair was slightly messy and she wore a blue dressing gown.

Dorian shook his head as Lysandra sat down next to him. Some of the puppies awoke and clambered up onto Dorian and Lysandra's laps. Dorian stroked the puppy's head slowly as he nodded.

"Me neither," she said quietly, cuddling the puppy. Both sat in silence for a while, calmly sitting in the moonlight.

"Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" Lysandra asked slowly.

Dorian sat for a moment, considering. On the one hand, Lysandra was a respected member of Aelin's court. On the other hand, Lysandra had been trained her whole life to be appealing.

"I didn't have a nightmare." Dorian said, looking down at the tiny puppy to avoid her gaze. Lysandra smiled, sadly.

"I understand if you don't want to talk about it. I have nightmares too," she paused briefly. "Please don't try and tell me you didn't have a nightmare. I can tell you've been having them for weeks now. If I got Chaol, would you-"

"Don't get Chaol." Dorian interrupted. "Chaol doesn't need to know. He'd only stress about it." Lysandra was sitting next to him in silence. Dorian took a deep breath.

"There are these demons. I only know their voices, but they surround me in darkness. Then, Chaol… Aedion… Aelin…" A lump formed in Dorian's throat. He could feel tears forming in his eyes.

Lysandra laid a hand on his. "Whatever happened, whatever awful thing you think you did, I promise you, we don't care because we know that wasn't the real you."

Dorian stood up suddenly, startling the puppy on his lap. He started pacing. "The monster was in _my_ body. Aelin saw _me_ try to kill her. Chaol and Aedion nearly died because of me. Because I couldn't control my magic. Because I let the one I truly loved die. Because I couldn't protect my friends. And the whole kingdom, no, the whole damn country knows the demon was in _my_ bod, so they think it was me and…" Dorian slumped down again.

A few moments of silence passed between them before Dorian spoke again.

"My father was in the dream. Well, actually, he'd turn around and I found it was me." He hesitated before continuing. "I'm scared, Lysandra. I'm scared of being as bad as my father was before me. I'm fine when I'm with the others, but, when they all go, I'll…" Dorian trailed off as he swallowed the new lump in his throat and blinked back tears.

Lysandra carefully wrapped her arms around Dorian's shoulders, pulling him into a hug. Dorian silently sobbed into her shoulder.

"It's alright, Dorian. Crying is not a sign of weakness, especially for someone in your position." She gently rubbed his back as he finished crying.

After a moment, Dorian pulled back and smiled weakly at Lysandra. He opened his mouth to speak, but she put a finger to his lips.

"Not another word, Your Majesty." Lysandra said, smiling. She gently removed the puppy from her lap as she stood up, pulling Dorian with her. Together, they walked back to the stone castle.

"Morning, sleepyheads," Aelin's sarcastic tone rang through Dorian's tower bedroom. His eyes shot open and he found himself in Lysndra's arms. The two sheepishly untangled.

"We weren't doing anything Aelin. I swear!" Lysandra said, blushing pink.

Aelin smirked. "Sure you weren't," she said as she left the two.

Lysandra turned to leave to leave too. Dorian caught her hand.

"Thank you for staying with me."


End file.
